May 2-6, The death of Osama bin Laden

In DC the death of Osama bin Laden had a huge effect: there were celebrations in front of the White House, a sudden burst of patriotism, and security was multiplied. The day after I heard the news about his death, I was presented with several different viewpoints about what it means for the US, whether our reaction was appropriate, and what they think will be happening in the future. This is something I wrote while I was explaining how the event impacted me.

For the past two days I have been reflecting on the death of Al-Qaeda founder and national enemy Osama bin Laden and what it means for America. After hours of reflection, I am still unable to understand the depth of the emotions that it has engendered in me.

This death confounds me because it is impossible for me to conceptualize the levels of hatred that prompted 9/11. It is difficult to accept that killing Osama bin Laden will do nothing in bringing those who were lost on that day back; that their families will continue to live with the gaping holes of their absence. It is hard to deny that ridding the world of one of the most deplorable human beings does not bring us unfettered satisfaction because of the despair that is innately part of the story. I believe that the confusion toward an appropriate response does not signal that I am un-American, but that I am trying to understand the event in terms of the fabric upon which America is built- the idea of taking the high road, of avoiding violence and destruction whenever possible. Of having a conscience that sees moral qualms with taking human life in all cases. The continuation of the tragedy of 9/11 reopens a well of emotion that is still incomprehensible to many people. It ignites emotions in us that we do not want to feel; of hatred, of despair, of darkness. It recalls one of the worst days in American history.

Our culture has learned the hard way that savagery only begets savagery. This is why Americans try to reject the impulses that often come along with loss and fear- from racism to marginalization to radicalism. Violence and destruction vex us, regardless of the legitimacy of the cause, and it is hard to accept when that is this only way.

Osama bin Laden was a mass murderer. He is attributed with the deaths of thousands of citizens, he was an example of the effects of a perverted sense of religious radicalism and its ability to poison others, he was the personification of evil. He took not only the lives of those lost on 9/11, but permanently altered the American psyche.

It is because I am not wired to deal with the amount of hatred that the situation has confronted us with that I hesitate. The statement “I am so happy we killed him” is counter intuitive. It feels strange to say, because the statement in and of itself is against our cultural inclination to mourn death and destruction, to regret the pervasiveness of it in our society. It does not adequately express the reaction that while we are happy that bin Laden is gone, we are overwhelmed with sadness that the events passed the way they did, starting on September 11 of 2001 but stemming back for years before that.

Bin Laden is better off dead. Indeed, it seems that the world would be better if he had never lived. However, it is not this thought that torments me. It is the act of killing, of possibility of engendering an even more violent response, of the fact that he may now be martyred by his followers and used as a justification for more violence, that I struggle with. It is the fact that it seemed to be the only solution to the problem. It is the fact that the tragedy happened at all.

I support America and the American troops in the decisions made regarding the death of bin Laden. I doubt that many people in the international community will understand the visceral reaction of celebration that many Americans felt- a reaction that can only be understood when one witnesses the horror of a deliberate attack on their country- their friends, their families, their lives- their understanding of the world as a whole. It is a reaction that can only be understood when one risks his or her life, and the eternal heartbreak of his or her family when they decide to serve our country. The impulse to cheer or to cry both stem from the tangle of emotions that each person associates with the day that delineated pre and post 9/11 America. The onslaught of emotion that Americans experienced was the result of 10 years of a new way of life, of a new fear, of a wound that will never fully heal. The death of bin Laden will not heal the wound, but I hope that it will begin to give closure to the families that have been rasped by the incomprehensible devastation of 9/11. If reflection on the past events fills you with confusion, let it, because to feel the gravitas of the act, to question why it happened and to mourn the destruction in its wake, and to try to understand how it can be avoided in the future is to be truly, unequivocally American.